|The Love Guru
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- Fire the Love Guru - Hire a Script Guru
The problem with this movie is that it's one of the least funny comedies ever created. Ever. Not only did I stop watching Love Guru half-way through the movie - something I have NEVER done before - but during that time, the unthinkable happened: I looked down upon Jessica Alba. In all seriousness, Alba's next movie could be a 90-minute monstrosity with her kicking house-pets, burning down soup kitchens, and feeding toddlers to hyenas, and I'd still probably look favorably upon her performance. So why is this so bad?
Well, it's not me. Into-Me-I-See. I laughed hard at Super Troopers, Old School, Superbad, and Talladega Nights, so I'm a big fan of juvenile humor. I quote daily from the three Austin Powers movies, as well as Wayne's World, so it's not Mike Myers. I compared the Feast series to the Godfather series, and Johnny Knoxville consistently makes me laugh, so it has nothing to do with vulgarity. I love Jessica Alba and midgets, so it's not Jessica Alba or Verne Troyer. I even enjoy B-movies, so it's not the fact that this is a B-movie.
As far as the "plot" goes, Guru Pitka (Myers) is an American self help guru who learned his skills in India from cross-eyed Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley) (ba-dum-cha!). Pitka is hired by a Jane Bullard (Alba), to help her emotionally dysfunctional hockey team (ba-dum-cha!). Full of idiotic catch phrases and acronyms, Pitka hopes to dethrone Deepak Chopra as one of the resident mumbo-jumbo experts on the Oprah Show (ba-dum-cha!). Midget joke here (ba-dum-cha!), genitalia joke there (ba-dum-cha!).
Make no mistake; it looks big budget. The cast, crew, and everyone involved: top notch. There are even big name cameos like Val Kilmer. The problem is it's just not funny. Just look at the name of Kingsley's character again to see how bad the comedy is. I'm hoping this is the B-material he wanted to get out of the way before Austin Powers 4. ...more info
Watched this on a flight last night on my iPhone. Maybe the worst film I have ever seen....more info
- Completely Stupid
Here you see Mike Myers as some character that he's dreamed up. As the Guru Pitka he's hired to put back together the lead man on a hockey team and his wife after she's left him to be with the goalie of the rival team. In addition to this if he's succesful he'll be featured on Oprah and become the next Deepak Chopra, his rival from guru school.
Mike is actually pretty funny. Sure the jokes are old, but they're still pretty funny. Justin Timberlake is really hilarious in this. I loved his French Canadian accent and he was so funny.
I felt Jessica Alba was a bit flat. I kept waiting for her character to do something, but she never really did until the very end. I wish they had used Meagan Good more in this film. I think she's a really good actress and I felt like many of the times when she was silent she could have said something to inhance the film.
I think this is a stupidly, funny comedy. It's far from classy, but I don't really expect Mike Myers to really do that in live action films....more info
- Not nearly as bad as some of the reviews would indicate
I've read some pretty harsh reviews on this movie, and I can see why, but personally, I've seen 100's of movies worse than this. In fact, I didn't even think it was all THAT bad.
What separates us all as human beings, is that we have unique tastes. Clearly, not everyone is going to be entertained by this movie, but I bet a good percentage of you out there would think it's a so-so movie, just as I thought. It had highly entertaining moments. Some very slow moments, some pretty stupid moments, but overall, it was a 3 out 5 star movie, in my opinion....more info
- The Love Guru Review
If you want to laugh, get this movie!!!! Mike Meyers has done it again. This is a winner!!!! All the way from Mike meyers, Verne Troyer, Jessica Alba, to the cameos of Val Kilmer and Mariska Hartigay, this move is funny. Peppered with humor known to come from Meyers, this move will have you in stitches. Meyers definitely scored a goal in my book!!!!...more info
- Predictable and boring
People are always saying that things were better "back then" and the sentiment increases with age. When it comes to Hollywood movies, things were most certainly better when the movie business didn't release so many movies or beat successful horses until every last original thought or joke devolves into boring and fatuous formula. Welcome to the career of Mike Myers.
Maybe if the bulk of Myer's resume wasn't bullet-pointed with sequels and he hadn't showed us all the goodies in his comedy tool box; e.g., an entertaining mix of sophomoric innuendo, spot-on satire of genres, cheeky names, and the always-popular jokes regarding genitalia or bowel movements, he wouldn't have exhausted his repertoire and we wouldn't have to suffer through The Love Guru. This newest offering is as predictable as the jokes you see coming a mile away. Making it worse is that the premise isn't even that interesting. Like so many comedy movies released of late, there is a thread of a plot wrapped around ninety minutes of extremely tired jokes. The actors do their best and there are some smiles and mild chuckles, but most of it is just groan-inducing and expected.
I really like Mike Myers and want to believe that he has some great movies left in him, but to take several years to come up with this yawn-fest makes me question my beliefs. Either he has to let go of the reins and work for someone else or he needs to enter the cryogenic chamber and shoot himself into outer space in a giant Big Boy vessel, returning only when the last of us who have seen his work and grown tired of it are no longer living.
- Actually Pretty Funny despite all the bad reviews.
Let's face it, Mike Meyers humor has always been pretty low grade "potty humor" ever since the Austin Powers Series. Here Mike Meyers plays the "second best" Guru in the world who is hired to save the love life of a professional hockey player who is in the playoffs and can't focus until he learns to control his life. In his quest to become the next Deepak Chopra, Guru Pitka (Myers) learns the valuable lesson that patience and doing things right the first time is best for all persons, including himself.
I thought this is actually one of the best characters Myers has played since the Father in "So I Married an Axe Murderer", and it did have me laughing quite a bit. Justin Timberlake's character was also quite funny also. Worth renting or purchasing at a low price. ...more info
- A Karmic Komedy
Forget about Mike Myers for a minute. Let's begin with Ben Kingsley, the Oscar winning actor who actually appears in "The Love Guru"; he plays a cross-eyed spiritual advisor from India, and his name is not a double entendre so much as it's a blatant sexual reference smushed into a single word. The sight of this man is hilarious, and yet I didn't want to laugh because I know that Kingsley has made so many better choices than this film. What possessed him to act in a film this unashamedly juvenile? Did he find the idea of nonstop [...] gags appealing? I might as well be asking myself the same questions, because in all honesty, "The Love Guru" often had me giggling like a six-year-old who heard his first dirty joke. But to call this movie a comedic masterpiece would be an insult to the very concept of comedy.
The plot focuses on Pitka (Myers), an American-born, Indian-raised guru who was taught by Kingsley's character to become an expert in matters of love. How, I'm not entirely sure; he was forced to put on a metal chastity belt at the age of twelve, and there it would stay until he learned how to love himself above all others. Be that as it may, he's now a world-renowned spiritual advisor, guiding hundreds of followers with his bits of wisdom. He even attracts celebrities like Mariska Hargitay, and that's really interesting because her name doubles as his blessing for peace, love, and tranquility. But for all his fame and fortune, Pitka feels empty inside because he's only the second most famous guru. The first, of course, is Deepak Chopra. There is, however, a way for Pitka to increase his popularity: he must heal a troubled relationship between a Hockey player and his wife, who left him for another Hockey player. If Pitka can help them, he will be secured a guest spot on Oprah's show.
This opportunity arises because of Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs; the team's star player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), broke up with his wife, Prudence (Meagan Good), and as a result, his Hockey skills have been waning. This shouldn't be a problem for Pitka, who's always ready with a slew of sayings hidden within acronyms. Examples: GURU is short for Gee, You Are You, and BIBLE is short for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. He also has published a number of self-help books with such inspiring titles as "If You're Happy and You Know It, Think Again," and "Does it Hurt When You Do That? Don't Do That." He introduces himself to Darren by rolling in on a motorized pillow and telling him that his wife has forgiven him. Low and behold, Darren's practice shots improve dramatically; Pitka then understands that the key to Darren's success is about distraction, not merely about reconciling a feuding couple.
Thus begins a strict regiment of spiritual guidance. Darren's first big obstacle is his wife's new boyfriend, a French-Canadian Hockey player named Jacque Grande (Justin Timberlake). His talent is huge, much like his ... well, let's just say that there's a reason this man is so fond of roosters. Darren's second obstacle is his mother (Telma Hopkins), whose loveable face hides an incredibly overbearing personality. If Pitka can convince him to face her, he might be able to overcome years of emotional scarring. This, in turn, will bring him one step closer to patching things up with Prudence.
Intertwined with all of this is the relationship between Pitka and Jane, which steadily grows. Jane feels inadequate because of what she calls the Bullard Curse; the long and short of it is that everyone in the city blames her for the Maple Leafs' losing streak. As a result, men stay as far away from her as possible. I have a feeling the audience won't care about this subplot one bit--all anyone will notice are the film's back-to-back sexual innuendoes related to male genitalia. There are also a fair number of gags featuring the Maple Leafs' coach, an angry, foulmouthed dwarf played by Verne Troyer. You remember Verne Troyer as Mini Me from the "Austin Powers" sequels, don't you? The dwarf jokes in those films wore thin after a while. The same can be said in the case of "The Love Guru." Truth be told, every joke wears thin at a certain point.
But I can't deny the fact that I laughed every now and then. Consider cameo appearances by Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan as sports announcers--they add nothing meaningful to the story, yet their one-liners are so outlandish that I found myself smiling. I'm not exactly proud of myself for that. I know that there are much better comedies out there, ones that don't begin and end with musical numbers and feature two elephants having sex in a Hockey rink. Again, I turn my attention back to Ben Kingsley, who chose to play a cross-eyed Indian despite his accomplished career: Did that same guilty laughter haunt him as he read the script? Was he actually tempted by the idea of telling masturbation jokes to audiences of immature teenagers? Maybe so, because goodness knows I wasn't strong enough to completely resist it. There's absolutely no good reason to see "The Love Guru," even if you think you will find it funny....more info
- Let's look at the word, guru. Ok. My goal is to get you to say "Gee You Are You", TM.
Okay, I left this one sitting on the shelf for a week. All the bad press it received made me nervous.
Maybe it was that my expectations were pretty low then, but I loved The Love Guru! I don't know why it got slammed. Watching the movie, it didn't feel like a flop to me. If you liked his Austin Powers movies, you would like this one as well. It is not quite up to the level he hit with The Spy Who Shagged Me, but is better than Goldmember.
I honestly don't understand the complaints of juvenile humor. Of course it is juvenile. So were Anchorman, The Naked Gun, Step Brothers and Superbad. Juvenile humor is what America loves and it was done well here.
I also liked the slams of self help gurus and the way that it shows just how empty and useless a lot of their advice is. (Guru Pitka endlessly self promotes books with names like 'I know you are, but what am I?' and has goofy sayings like 'I speak of Intimacy, or Into-Me-I-See, TM.") I was surprised that Deepak Chopra agreed to be in this. Either he missed that aspect of the script or I got something wrong.
I kind of wonder if the negativity this movie engendered was based on Mike Meyer's reputation in Hollywood (he's supposed to be a bit of an arrogant jerk) rather than the movie itself....more info
- "I Own You!" ~ Bollywood, Bar Fights, Ball Gazing And Stink Mop As Tools To Englightenment
When you sit down to watch a Mike Myers movie realize that you have made the conscious decision to view something totally inane, slapstick and crude. On the other hand, there is another valid line of thought that would argue anyone who would watch a Mike Myers film is incapable of rational, conscious thought. A point well taken I must admit. With that said, if you're still reading this review we know what camp you fall into.
In the '08 film `The Love Guru' Mr. Myers plays Guru Pitka, the second most popular spiritual teacher in the Occidental world, second to Deepak Chopra of course. Guru Pitka finally gets the opportunity to possibly move out of the number two position when he's hired by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team (Jessica Alba) to restore the broken marital relationship between their star player and his estranged wife who has moved in with the Los Angeles Kings well endowed goalie (Justin Timberlake). If he's successful he will not only be handed a two million dollar check but has been promised a booking to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show! As you should have already guessed his spiritual instructional methods are, shall we say suspect and the storyline loaded with the usual gag routines, inside jokes and shots at anyone and everyone. In other words typical Mike Myers faire.
Hey, it could be a lot worse, Jessica Alba is gorgeous, diminutive Vern Troyer is adorable as the Maple Leafs coach and Justin Timberlake is surprisingly entertaining. There is definitely an audience out there for this one and you know who you are. For everyone else a couple beers before viewing might by in order....more info
- An awful disappointment
What a hideous movie. I adore Mike Myers and this was completely awful. I could not get passed the first 15 minutes--it was lame, forced, disgusting humor. I enjoy toilet humor, but this was not even close to being funny. In fact, I have never written a review on Amazon, but this movie was so bad, I felt compelled to do it. ...more info
- Myers Flails as a Chopak Wannabe in a Comic Misfire
Star and co-writer Mike Myers is far too clever to be dismissed entirely for a film burdened by his kitchen-sink approach to comedy. However, this 2008 film comes closest to making him downright intolerable despite a smattering of smart one-liners that barely save it from landing in the junk bin. The concept would seem ripe with possibilities as the film lampoons the commercial intentions of self-help gurus like Deepak Chopra, but Myers and his writing partner Graham Gordy appear more interested in bodily functions, gross-out humor, repetitive gags ("Mariska Hargitay"), Canadian in-jokes, and celebrity walk-ons rather than keep the satirical aspects focused enough to make a point. Unfortunately, first-time director Marco Schnabel simply lets the star and the rest of the lackluster cast flounder without lending a perspective that could have balanced the lowbrow shenanigans with the highbrow aspirations. As unsatisfying as the film is, I wonder if Judd Apatow could have saved this material.
The overextended plot revolves around self-help guru Maurice Pitka, who was born in America but raised in India. With his long hair and beard and traditional Hindu garb, Pitka is known as a second-rate Chopra, but he is aggressively looking for an opportunity to change that and get on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Enter Darren Roanoke, star player for the Toronto Maple Leafs, who goes into a scoring slump just as the team makes the Stanley Cup playoffs. Team owner Jane Bullard and coach Punch Cherkov seek out Pitka to help Roanoke reconcile with his wife Prudence, who has caused his beleaguered lack of self-esteem. She has decided to leave him for the conjugal joys to be had with Jacques "Le Coq" Grande, the goalie for the opposing Los Angeles Kings known for his elephantine endowment. Pitka espouses his radical "DRAMA" method of enlightenment to alleviate Roanoke's stress and lead him on a journey toward self-love. Apparently that's the only chance that the Maple Leafs have in winning the Cup. At the same time, Pitka realizes his goal to usurp Chopak is a hollow one when he becomes romantically drawn to the comely Bullard.
Myers may have gone to the well one too many times with his smarmy, overly self-aware performance as Pitka. What goodwill he generated as Wayne Campbell and Austin Powers has almost evaporated here. As Bullard, Jessica Alba is a pretty but unavoidably wooden foil to Myers, and her character's attraction to Pitka remains one of the film's bigger mysteries. Somewhat better is Romany Malco as Roanoke and Justin Timberlake as Grande, though neither is imposing enough to be particularly believable as professional hockey players. As a more verbal version of Mini-Me, Verne Troyer plays Cherkov in constant foul-mouthed agitation. The most embarrassing performance, however, belongs to a cross-eyed Ben Kingsley as Pitka's spiritual mentor, Guru Tugginmypudha. I doubt if any other Oscar winner has taken quite as discreet a fall from grace. On the other hand, I have to admit I liked the sitar revamp of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" as the irrelevant opening theme, as well as Stephen Colbert's funny bits with Jim Gaffigan as the play-by-play commentators. But that's about it.
The extras are abundant on the 2008 DVD if you care to view them. First, there is a standard making-of featurette, "Mike Myers and The Love Guru - An Inside Look" that runs ten minutes with comments from Myers, Alba, Troyer, and Schnabel. There is a six-minute short, "One Helluva Elephant", showing how special effects specialist Ron Stefaniuk built an animatronic elephant and ostrich for the movie. More interesting is "Hockey Training for Actors" which has sports coordinator Mark Ellis explaining how the actors learned to play hockey. Rounding out the extras are eleven deleted/extended scenes, a four-minute blooper reel, a separate five-minute compilation of deleted takes with Colbert and Gaffigan (the best of the extras and even better than the movie), ten minutes more of general outtakes, and the original theatrical trailer....more info
- Worst. Movie. Ever.
If I could give this zero stars, I would. Its pure trash. It's just not funny. The jokes are awkward and usually offensive. Honestly, who makes midget jokes anymore? Perhaps this is great according to the 12 year old demographic but to all others, STAY AWAY! I ended up spending 10 dollars on this... thing, and i would like to stop others from giving them anymore. ...more info
- The Love Guru? The new worst movie ever!
The Love Guru, starring Mike Myers, is a bad, horrible film in so many ways. I'm writing my review in honor of the many Razzies that the film was recently nominated for.
Mike Myers has been a part of some great comedies over the last two decades from Waynes World, to Austin Powers to Shrek. Mike Myers can't be funny playing himself, or at least hasn't really tried to in film. He is great, however, at creating characters. At least until the Love Guru came along.
The Guru Pitka is a horrible character that is horribly played by Mike Myers. First, the Guru is a satire on Deepok Chopra I guess. Deepok Chopra is an extremely obscure pop culture reference to make an entire movie about. Second, as I watched the film, I could easily pick out the parts that were supposed to be funny or inspired, but the were instead painful and sad. Myers looks pathetic as the Guru Pitka, and it is even more saddening to watch the joy and zest with which he gave the character. Myers for some reason thought America would enjoy this character.
If you do decide to watch this movie, you will wonder what movie executive thought this film should be released in the summer. This movie is historically bad. The only good part about the movie is the supporting cast with Romany Malco, Verne Troyer, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake and Ben Kingsley.
Avoid the temptation to watch this movie. It is not funny under any circumstances.
I usually love dumb movies of the Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Chevy Chase type. But, this movie was terrible. There were a handful of funny parts. But, more often than not I was just praying for it to end, and wondering how any one thought it was a good idea to bring this movie to the theatres....more info
- The Myers ride is almost over and he is trying to cash in
"The Love Guru", directed by Marco Schnabel and written by Mike Myers
Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) is the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team. Unfortunately Darren is having problems with his marriage and the stress has caused his game to fall off and the result has been a losing streak for the Maple Leafs. Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) the owner of the team is determined to get them back to their winning ways and prove to herself and the fans that the poor performances of the Maple Leafs is not her fault. To do this she enlist the help of Guru Maurice Pitka (Mike Myers) in hopes of reconciling the relationship between Darren and his wife Prudence who is now involved in a passionate relationship with Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake) who is a goalie for the Maple Leaf's Rival. Guru Pitka, motivated by the possibility that he may overtake Deepak Chopra as the number 1 Guru agrees to take the job and hilarity ensues...
I have been a fan of a lot of Mike Myers' work including "Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery (New Line Platinum Series)" and "Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me (New Line Platinum Series)" but since those it seem like his efforts have been on the decline. I didn't love "Austin Powers in Goldmember", heard terrible things about "Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (Full Screen Edition)" and now this debacle. I was skeptical going in as I wasn't the least bit impressed with the trailer but since I felt Myers had the talent to write good movies and carry them with his acting that I would give it a shot. Unfortunately my initial impression was the correct one and the movie was very disappointing.
The Good: It is always nice to see Jesica Alba on screen even when her performance feels half hearted as it did in this. I had no problems with the look and sound of the movie. As much as I hate to admit it, Justin Timberlake gave a decent performance or as good of one as could be giver for his character.
The Bad: It is always bad when the comedy in a comedy falls flat and doesn't work as is the case in "The Love Guru". The vast majority of the humor just doesn't work and feels forced. Myers also need to stop creating work for Verne Troyer or at least pull it way back to minor roles as that bit has run it's course as far as getting laughs. The story overall is ludicrous which is typical of Myers' movies and would have been fine had the comedy been strong enough to carry the movie but since it fell flat you as a viewer are left to pick apart everything else.
Overall: "The Love Guru" just felt like Mike Myers was trying to cash in on the last bit of buzz his name has to offer. If you are looking for a laugh try picking up one of Judd Aptow's latest movies or if you need a Mike Myers fix pick up one of his older titles but skip this one.
- Well, At Least The Elephants Were Funny....
Poor Mike Myers. The guy has a talent for creating clueless catchy characters that all basically run on a fuel of catch-phrases, sight-gags, and pokes at then current points of pop-culture. And usually it works. Works well. From teenage Metal fans Wayne's World, to a stranger in a strange land Austin Powers, when it comes to original creations, Mike Myers really has done well for himself. But how far can you use the exact same template, just changing it's color each time before the format grows stale?
Six years seems about right.
Because it's been six years since the last Austin Powers film Goldmember, and now Myers is back with a brand new character Guru Pitka, a self-help spiritual advisor who's second only to real-life equivalent Deepak Chopra. When Pitka gets an offer to help the Tiger Woods of Hockey Darren Roanoke (the Chris Rock-lite Romany Malco) get out of his romantic funk after losing the love of his life, he himself finds the same in the team's owner, played curiously by Jessica Alba, who I figure she thought she was originally appearing in Austin Powers IV. Along the way, you get a variety of secondary cast members by the likes of Justin Timberlake (who steals the show as a Canadian well-endowed goalie who stole Roanoke's love), Stephen Colbert (doing his Report as if it was Sportscenter), Ben Kingsley (who has offically flushed his credibly down the toliet here as Pitka's crossed-eyed mentor), and "please give me a job" Verne Troyer.
But what is painfully obvious literally minutes into this film is that all it really is, is a reworking of those Austin Powers movies. Instead of big glasses & funky teeth, it's a beard and big nose. Instead of an exaggerated British accent, it's an over-the-top Indian one. He even stoops to a few musical parodies in this too, sound painfully familiar? And when Powers had tons of humorous innunendo borderline-risque sight-gags, Guru follows suit, but feeling extremely forced and stale this time around. There are tons of word-play style jokes here that just scream "Yeah, Baby!" that will have your eyes rolling back into your head faster than you can say Linda Blair. And 80% of them you will see coming. This was just too expected of Myers to do after patenting that style of humor he's known for from way back in his SNL days. Granted, about 3/4 into the film the character might grow on you a little more, but even with a second viewing you'll still think half these jokes would have worked better out of the mouth of say Dr. Evil.
The disc isn't too bad for extras with a documentary, outakes, deleted scenes, and a blooper reel (which looks like nobody on-set was really laughing all that hard to begin with), but this film won't sit next to Wayne's World or Austin Powers on your shelf without hiding behind it's fakey beard. Too much like a rehash of former greatness to be considered good on it's own, Mike Myers needs to find himself a writer that can present him in a whole new light without the crutch of body-part jokes and funny plastic faces to only carry him through.
(RedSabbath Rating:6.0/10)...more info
- Where are the laughs
After viewing this film...I was left wondering where the funny Mike Myers was. The film is about a guru who is a guide to a young hockey player love life but has never fallen in love himself. It is the job of the guru to help the hockey player (Maple Leafs player), played by Malco and get his team back on top. I found the humor to be recycled jokes and puns that I've could have been presented better(his books with long titles, intimacy meaning into me I see, 'would you let Jack off an elephant if the elephant let you jack off')...bla bla bla . I spent over an hour waiting to crack a smile.
The same goes for Vern Troy's parts. I suppose I was expecting the duo to do the same magic the did it Austin Powers). Of course there were alot of short jokes (vern being offered shrimp, and being called a gnome when 'name' was meant)and stunts. He was the T.O ML manager and had a micro office that the four other characters tried to squeeze into. That was funny.
Jessica Alba played the owner of the T.O Maple Leafs and towards the end her indian dance moves reminded me of what I saw in 'The Guru'. It was nice colorful choreograpy. Not too much too say about her character; a nice woman who's team was cursed until the guru came along.
Justin Timberlake played a not-so-funny french hockey player who was known as Le coq (for his large penis). I understood some of the french humor and curse words used, but again was not impressed. Particularly with the fight scene between he and the guru.
As for Romany Malco it was great to see him in a more interesting role where he's not swearing constantly. I remember him from 'The Chateau' and never thought I'd see him again. He played a broken-hearted hockey player who was afraid to contront his mother (played by Thelma Hopkins)
The critics were correct. It leaves the viewer wanting more movie for thier money. ...more info
Took awhile to recieve the item...but was recieved within the estimated time frame. The movie and box were in good shape and I am happy with the purchase.
- Miserably, Wretchedly Awful
I remember the negative rumblings when this film was in production. The advance screening reviews did not treat it well, and most reviews once it opened also were not good, some of them downright brutal. Then it was in and out of my local megaplexes in less than a month. Now it's on DVD, right after the end of the summer, not even waiting for the holiday market, not even tying into some kind of wacky Halloween marketing-thing.
Through all of these increasingly negative omens I kept faith, figuring, "Hey, it's Mike Myers, the man who brought us "Sprockets" on Saturday Night Live, the Wayne's World guy, the Austin Powers guy." I like to watch So I Married an Axe Murderer when it's on cable; I even know most of that crazy "O, Harriett" beat poem. I knew that while this particular film might not be his best, that it could be Mike Myers' Blame It On Rio, that I'd still find it overall funny and entertaining.
Not so. This film is absolute junk, right from the beginning. It was so awful, I turned it off after 40 minutes.
Yes, it really is that bad. In Amazon.com reviews I have savaged--given them what they're due, actually--that ridiculous CGI-permeated gunk Van Helsing and that vapid Hollywood The Stepford Wives (Special Collector's Edition) garbage, and I recently let I Am Legend have it as well, each for their own failings. But I sat through each of those stinkers, right through to the end titles. This one didn't even earn that level of interest and respect. By forty minutes, I had had enough of the idiotic humor, the flat jokes, the bad characters, Myers wallowing in his own grossly overinflated sense of comedic creativity and personal hip-itude, and I had no interest at all in seeing how it would all turn out.
Myers plays a wacky Indian guru, a holy man specializing in love and relationships, but he has neither love nor a relationship of his own, and a clanking elephant-head chastity belt to boot. The guru comes across as self-centered, money-grubbing, commercially prostituted, demented, capricious, manipulative and foul. There is no serenity, no grace, not the slightest indication of any kind of scholarly depth, just a rapid-fire stream of idiotic caca-doody and genital jokes. It's all urine and feces, phallic goofs, simulated pain inflicted on male sexual parts, the kind of stuff I found trite once I matured into 7th grade. Now, I love the Jackass movies, so I know from funny in slapstick agony, genitals and excretory humor. But this film was just mindless, moronic junk, a collection of Myers' jokes and stupid puns, the stuff that didn't make the cut for the second Austin Powers sequel, run together with a contrived, meandering, patchwork, pathetically predictable story.
If you've seen the film, you'll know that Myers' Guru Pitka would say that this film is pure Comprehensive Radical Adjustment Participation.
I mean, in the scene in which Myer's guru and his destined love have their first big date, he has arranged a very special meal which looks exactly like human testicles. Both he and Jessica Alba bray their way through the endless stupid jokes, it all ending with the hilariously beaten and mutilated edible having to be discarded. We've already been beaten over the head that the guru wants Alba as THE love of his incongruously empty life, and so this is the way he, The Love Guru, the man who has so much depth and experience in love and relationships, creates his first impression for his one-and-only? Absolute garbage.
Myers' Indian guru character offended even me, and I'm about as white-bread as they come. His bad Indian accent drifted in between the Saturday Night Live/"So I Married an Axe Murderer" Scottish Dad, Fat Bastard and Shrek. I mean, he couldn't even take the time to get his Indian accent down, so busy was he working on these complex, meaningful, mutually reinforcing gags about elephant dung and fighting with mops dripping with the fresh urine of his deeply honored guru-master.
Vern Troyer is reduced to spewing profanities, being the butt of increasingly vicious little-person jokes and a series of demeaning, ugly sight gags in which he is always the victim of physical violence.
Ben Kingsley--the guy who played freeking Gandhi, and won the Oscar for it--is reduced to playing a cross-eyed clown. Sad.
Jessica Alba is stunning, predictably, but still just can't act, even in this shallow story.
And then there was the endless parade of celebs who want to be in a Mike Myers film, from Val Kilmer to Oprah, bad and forced cameos all, the kind of overblown star-packing formula that made me puke in "Goldmember."
The only good part I encountered lasted all of 20 seconds, a wonderfully done, detailed spin on the typical Bollywood boy-girl musical number, with Myers and Alba. It was great, right down to the disorienting camera zooms, the impossible physical backdrops, the music and lyrics, the nauseatingly deep, warbling color and a jittery box with understated yet funny subtitles. This was what this film should have been.
Bottom line: Avoid this film; there is nothing redeeming in it. For a more entertaining South Asian romantic comedy experience, watch The Guru instead....more info
- very uplifting
The film contained several great musical performances. The Song and Dance routine at the end of the film was very uplifting. You might get a kick out of the special effects used during a flashback to Guru Pikta's childhood audition to Guru School....more info
- What the....?
This movie I believe had so much promise...so what happened? I love the Austin Power Movies, this I believe could of been something just as if not funnier than those movies. I just found myself thinking all the gags were stupid, not stupid funny, just stupid. ...more info